Flight  The aftermath of Mockingjay
by Confound
Summary: This is the first chapter in flight, a number of short enteries containing what happens after the end of Mockingjay. Clearly, the ending has been changed because I do not agree with Susan Collins happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

The cold wind sent the light flakes of snow into a flurry, where they spun and danced, somehow finding their way to my exposed cheeks. They lingered there, on my warm skin for but a moment giving me light, chilling kisses, before they vanished. I shivered, the snow had been falling steady, it had lightened lately, but having grown up in the seam, I know it means the worst has yet to come. My chilled fingers found their way to my cap and I pulled the sides down over my ears. Although I now lived in the Victors village, the winters in district 12 have always been the same. Cold and lonely. The only changes made since I lived in the seam, was the housing and the company. Haymitch continually stopped by, to make sure I was eating and what not, each time his breath was laced with the scent of whiskey. I also have Greasy Sae and her granddaughter, they only come by once a month, but I enjoy their presence.

Then of course, there is Peeta. Peeta, whose memories where so viciously devoured, whose thoughts where mutilated, whose very sanity has been shaken. The one who has stood without a second thought by my side, who would follow me to whatever end. Peeta, the boy with the bread. Now, as I sit on my porch the images flood back to my mind. Digging, embedding themselves into my brain until I put everything else on hold to look at them. When I met Peeta, I didn't feel anything for him, no. That's a lie. I did feel something for him, but I was confused to what that feeling was, what it meant. Now I see. As the scent of fresh cheese buns lingers from my neighbour's house, a smile creeps onto my lips. The boy with the bread will be here soon, coming at the same time he always does, bringing me fresh cheese buns. Still providing for me. Perhaps I would do best to save these strong emotions for when he arrives, I'm sure he would like that.

I stood quickly, bringing my coat around me to keep the warmth in. My eyes narrowed against the snow, beginning to fall in clumps. Sure enough, across the street the light in the kitchen was still on. Peeta is still making the cheese buns. My smile grew and I dashed inside, thinking of what someone with my emotional intelligence could possibly do.

'Now Katniss, you don't want to scare the boy.' I lectured myself as I striped off my coat and winter attire. Despite the cheese buns, Peeta and I have never been the same. Sure, a hug here and there, the kiss on New Year's, but nothing has ever felt right since the Seventy fifth hunger games, the third Quarter Quell. No matter how much time has passed weeks, months, or the three years. It hasn't been enough. Surely Peeta hasn't been waiting all this time for me to make a move? Or has he?

My braid whipped back and forth as I shook my head quickly. Enough of the past, think about the future. I hung up my coat and hat, then kicked off my boots and ran up the stairs.

'What could I possibly do for Peeta?' I pondered aloud as I walked into my room. When I first moved into the victors village I had kept the smallest room, allowing the larger ones to my mother and sister, my room was still a huge, an undreamt of luxury. After all, Prim and I had shared a bed in the seam; I don't even know if you would call what we had in our house walls.

The carpet was warm and comforting under my socked feet. I now resided in the largest room, a full 'king' sized bed, a lovely oak dresser, a silver mirror, a bathroom that was attached to the far side of the room, three large, draped windows. Everything about this room made me feel like a princess. I believe it's good to self-indulge every once in a while. Although I remember the first thought that came to mind when I saw the dresser. My hand brushed over its surface gently.

'How many bows could I have made with you?'

A giggle escaped me and I stole a glance up at the mirror framed above it. The shock from my giggle, and my appearance registered on my face. This is what I've looked like for the last three years? I know I had let myself go, and just started to regain my mental sanity last year, but Cinna would beat me like a dog if he could see this. Split ends, dark bags, and chapped lips – I've been kissing Peeta with those lips? A yelp almost escaped me and I tore open a drawer in the dresser. I don't like makeup; I never have and never will, the only exception was when Cinna did my makeup. I don't really think it becomes me much, however tonight will be special. Tonight I am rekindling my relationship with Peeta. Dress to impress, isn't that what Madge said to me once?

'Meds, meds, meds.' I groaned in frustration and shut the drawer harshly. It had only been full of medications, numerous and far beyond my count. I know I have makeup somewhere. Haymitch made sure I kept it, and Greasy Sae made me wear some on New Year's. I bit my lip as I thought, then gasped and shook my head again.

'Don't bite your lip Katniss.' I mimicked Cinna's voice. Pain pierced me as I remembered my stylist, beautiful, graceful, insane Cinna. He could do anything with a needle and thread, make anything beautiful and unique. Cinna who had been beaten so harshly and cruelly before me at the start of the Quarter Quell.

'I don't hurt anyone but myself.' The nostalgia made the tears that had already been pooling spill, and the tears streamed hungrily down my cheeks. I wiped away the tears and looked at my reflection in the mirror. Alright Cinna. I won't hurt anyone but myself with my actions, starting now, and I'll reward Peeta for putting up with me all this time. It's the right thing to do.

'Makeup!' I uttered loudly, as if this action would make the beautiful satin box appear before me. However, the magic didn't work. With a huff I stalked off to my large walk-in closet, wiping away the last of the tears. Forget about Cinna, Prim, and mother. Now is for Peeta, no one else. Peeta has been through just as much if not more, he has no family, no one but me. I have to do this for Peeta. Peeta deserves this, and so much more.

I observed the still closet for a moment, my mother olds gowns still hanging in it. The top shelves were full of boxes and shoes, none of which looked like the black satin box that contained my makeup. I moved forward, through the closet and started to look at the dresses. Would it be too showy to wear the dresses?

'Oh I don't know.' I sighed as my fingers ran over the graceful surface of the fabrics, as I made my way around the closet. I felt a pang of guilt. Dressing up in my mother's clothes while she's gone? Isn't that something little children do? I could feel my facial expressions harden. No. When I was a child I never had the chance to do something like that. I could never dream of doing something like that. I was the provider. As the thoughts raced through my mind, my fingers were brushing over the soft fabric of a beautiful green dress. Its bodice, tanned brown leather. A rather simple thing, I could picture my mother wearing it as she ran around tending to patience.

Not satisfied, I let the dress fall back on its hanger, making a loud clink. I continued to skim through the dresses, until I felt silk. This immediately caught my attention. My head turned sharply to look at the dress. Silk, has always excited me. It's expensive, delicate, and smooth. The colour of the dress made my heart soar. It was an orange, not extremely bright, but very warm.

'Like the sunset.' I mused as a grin spread across my lips. Guilt pulled at me for a moment, thinking of my mother. Once more my expression hardened, whether it was out of spite for my mother, or the fact that this was Peeta's favourite colour, I pulled the dress from its hangar and shut the closet door behind me.

In a quick motion I tossed the dress onto the bed, then proceeded into the bathroom. Like everything in this house, it's luxurious. A large white porcelain bath that could probably fit five people, a wonderful mirror with humming birds carved into its ivory, sinks, cabinets, everything done in fine detail. Even the towels which were set aside on the rack were lovely. I opened a drawer to take out the oils and what not. Usually I'd use the shower in the guest room, which is less exquisite, but far from shabby. However, today I am well prepared to use the bath. The taps were a little stiff from not being used often, but warm water still flowed smoothly, mixing in with the scented oils. I watched the suds and swirls for a moment, then undressed.

When I stepped from the bath, I was sparkling clean. All the grime and dirt, dead skin, flakes, all obvious faults were gone. I'm sure my prep team would have done much better, but they aren't at my disposal. I dried my body and walked out in my towel, drying my hair with another in the process. The orange was greatly emphasised on the pale blue bed sheets, and for once I got a good look at it.

A simple gown really, much like the yellow one Cinna had me wear after the seventy fourth hunger games. Except, obviously it was orange, and it had intrakit little designs around the short sleeves and the low collar. The dress also had padding, which I found in farther inspection. Its fabric was so beautiful and smooth, I found myself rushing to dry off, the want for the fabric to be against my skin growing.

My towels lay in a heap while I stepped into the dress. A shiver of pleasure ran down my spine to the feeling of the fabric. I straightened out the dress and pulled it into place. It was a lovely fit, if anything my mother had left me it was her body, at least her body as a young adult. I wouldn't call myself alluring, but despite Haymitch's snarky comments I have caught the gardeners looking at me. A smile crept to my face as I stood before the mirror. The way the dress flowed, slanted, curved, tugged, squeezed, and ended just above my knees made me tingle with excitement.

'In your face Haymitch.' I said coolly and regarded myself for a moment longer, then rushed off to the bathroom once more to start with the fixings and tweaks. Eyebrows, I know I have tweezers somewhere, hair, I definitely need to brush it. Smell, well I do smell lovely from the oils, but you never know. A thought struck me that sent panic through my being. What time does Peeta normally make his appearance? Six? Five? Has there ever been a time, or does he just come by when the cheese buns are ready? Oh Katniss, you should know this by now.

Sure enough, just as I finished plucking my brows there was the sound of the door opening. Ringing the door bell was a luxury none of us bothered to offer each other. I looked over myself once more and bit my lip gently. Tonight is for Peeta, he deserves my undying attention, I promised myself silently, then swept out of the room.

My heart was beating in my chest, everything seemed drowned out expect for my frantic heartbeat. Calm down, its only Peeta. You're Peeta. You can't do anything wrong, he's seen it all. I tried to persuade myself as I walked down the stairs. A smile was firmly planted on my lips when I reached the end of the stair case, my fear had been replaced by excitement. This is not something that is forced, it's something I want to do. I'm sure Peeta will like it, whatever it is.

I walked into the kitchen with light, silent steps, trying hard not to bite my lip. I turned around the corner and burst into a quick sprint, making the gown flow. My entire being brightened as I saw a figure, standing with his back to me in front of the fridge. Heart soaring, I rushed over to him.

'Peeta!' I stopped short. The figure who turned to me was not Peeta. He was not a stranger, but not Peeta. Anger swelled inside of me when a smirk found its way onto Haymitch's lips.

'You excited to see me Sweetheart?' He asked, then chuckled and set his bottle of liquor down on the counter. A growl found its way into my throat. He shrugged off the sound and circled me.

'You know Katniss, you clean up nicely.' He muttered, then returned to the counter with a raised brow.

'What's the occasion? I never thought you were one for parties, and there are only three of us so I doubt that's the case.' I glared at him venomously and scrunched my nose. This made him sigh, an act which made his entire body move. I could tell he was waiting for an answer, and I don't like his guesses much.

'Don't flatter yourself it's for Peeta.' My tone was quite dull. Haymitch raised his other brow.

'Why?'

'Because I feel like I owe Peeta.' I said begrudgingly. Oh how I hate being in debt. Haymitch's face became stern.

'Katniss your nineteen.' He said shortly.

'Yeah, and so is Peeta.' I replied just as stout.

'Katniss that's not my point-'

'Then what is?' I cut in sharply. It's not like Haymitch to beat around the bush. Haymitch frowned, then shook his head.

'What do you mean you owe him?'

'He's been putting up with me for the past how long? I've never really returned the favour, the boy brings me bread every day for pittysake! I might as well return the favour, if I can.' Haymitch looked somewhat relieved, and he visibly relaxed. What did he think I was going to do? I'm not that horrible am I?

Haymitch cleared his throat to make some big speech about how I will, and never will be good enough for Peeta, how I don't deserve him, he's too good for me, I'm below him, or whatever moral shaking thing he could muster up, when the door opened once more. My ears perked and I backed away from Haymitch, then strode on silent feet to the door.

There, stood the most breath taking boy I ever did lay eyes on. Tall, strong, beautiful blond hair with snow caught up in it. Blue eyes brighter and more piercing then the sky, cheeks rosy from the cold, all mine. Including the cheese buns in the basket clutched in his right hand.

I could see the surprise in his eyes to my appearance, but I didn't miss a beat as I burrowed my way into his chest. Hesitation made his body go rigid for a moment, but he smoothly recovered and wrapped his free arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. I breathed in his wonderful scent, inhaling deeply and not exhaling until I thought I might suffocate. With a light, content sigh, I reached up on my toes to kiss him gently on the lips. I could see he was still confused, the depths of his eyes unsettled. He stared at me in a perplexed manor for a moment, then tilted his head ever so slightly as a smile pulled at his lips.

'What's the occasion?' He asked smoothly, his arm staying wrapped around my waist as he led me to the kitchen. I couldn't help but frown at the suspicion in his voice.

'There is no occasion, I just thought it would be nice for a bit of a change.' I answered quietly, leaning against him as we walked. He chuckled lightly,

'This is a change alright.' My frown stayed in place and I felt very self-conscious.

'Is there something wrong with me?' I pulled back to look at myself, making sure I didn't miss anything obvious. I thought he would have liked the dress, this isn't the reaction I was expecting. It hurt a little.

'Of course not!' His eyes widened and he pulled me back gently, then planted a kiss on top of my head.

'Katniss you look beautiful, it's just not like you. You caught me off guard is all.' He promised as we walked into the Kitchen. Remembering Haymitch pulled me from my start struck daze and I cut Peeta off sharply, standing in front of him.

'Why don't we go into the living room this time?' This suggestion made his suspicion return.

'We always go into the kitchen.' He said and tried to scoot around me. I stretched out my arms so they were again the door frame that led into the kitchen, making it impossible to get passed without going through me.

'We're supposed to be making a change.' I urged.

'Then let me set the basket down in the kitchen, then we can go into the living room.' He assured and tried to slip passed me, but I blocked him once more.

'Let's just go straight to the living room.' I was getting desperate, Haymitch would ruin everything. Peeta became agitated.

'Let me into the kitchen Katniss.'

'No.' I stood firmly in his way, returning his glare with a small, yet determined pout. With a sigh Peeta shook his head.

'Fine.' Just when I thought I had won, I lost. In a quick, fluent movement, Peeta had me slung over his left shoulder. I yelped in surprise and hit him on the back.

'Put me down Peeta!' I cried and kicked my legs. He laughed, an action that made his entire body vibrate.

'Oh calm down Katniss, really. It isn't like I'm going to do anything to you.' He strode into the kitchen with me slung over his shoulder, looking like a hunted animal. I let my body relax in defeat, it's over. Haymitch and his unwanted entrance has won, if there was ever a mood it was now dead. Dead, lying on the cold marble floors, where come Friday, they will be swept up by Greasy Sae and scooted out the door into the snow.

'That's lovely.' Haymitch's tone was not appreciative, but he laughed. I couldn't see him, but I know he was talking about the whole, me-slung-over-Peeta's-shoulder thing. I went limp and closed my eyes. Even if there like family, I can still be embarrassed, I have the pride of a lion.

A small, dull thump let me know Peeta put his basket down. I didn't bother to move, I just hung there, my hair draping over my face as Peeta went about the kitchen.

'It's good to see you Haymitch.' Peeta said politely. Haymitch grunted and I could hear ice cubes clinking, letting me know he was downing a drink. This made my spirits rise. Surely he would get straight to being drunk! He'd be on the couch in no time, passed out and drunk. I almost smiled, but then I felt myself slipping and I gripped Peeta's shirt with effort. He laughed.

'Come on Katniss, you don't want to stay up there the whole time, it's not much of a view for Haymitch.' I realized Peeta was pulling me off his shoulder, and into his arms. This would have been enjoyable if it wasn't for the comment. My cheeks reddened as I slipped from Peeta's shoulder and brushed the hair out of my eyes. I chanced a glance at Haymitch, but he seemed to be quite content with staring at his drink. Another laugh left Peeta.

'Katniss you're as red as a tomato.' His teeth came out from hiding when he smiled at me. Have they always been so perfect, I wonder. I found myself smiling back at him, then I looked away and quickly fixed my dress.

'I brought you cheese buns.' He said in a quiet voice. I looked up at him again, then glanced at the basket on the table.

'Thank you.' I bit my lip and fixed my gaze on the floor. Obviously Peeta wanted to say something, he never acts awkward. At one point I thought it was impossible for him to be awkward, unless it would somehow swoon his viewers. Once more I cursed Haymitch silently for being here, why was he here? I mean, of course he stops into make sure I'm not doing something stupid, but there was never really a schedule to it. Of all days why did he have to stop by today?

As if Haymitch could sense his presence was unwanted, he downed the last of his liquor and stood with a hiccup. Both Peeta and I turned to him with vacant expressions. He blinked at us dully and picked up his bottle, then walked out of the kitchen and into the dining room without a word.

We watched him leave the room in silence, until he rounded the corner and went out of site. Almost immediately Peeta moved closer to me, and wrapped his arms around me. I shivered and pressed myself against his chest.

'Either you've completely lost it or you're feeling much, much better.' His voice was quiet and soft as he held me to him. I closed my eyes in a content daze.

'I'm feeling much better, and I sort of felt like,' I paused, wondering how to word this. Would it offend Peeta if I told him I felt like I owed him? I'm pretty sure he already knows I feel that way.

'Felt like what?' He asked as he ran his fingers through my hair.

'I felt like, I feel like I owe you.' His body went stiff to my response, and his hand stopped brushing back my hair. I wrapped my arms around him so he couldn't pull away until I finished.

'After all I put you through I figured you deserved better than how I have been treating you lately. So I'm trying to make up for it.' This made him relax a little and his hand returned to the top of my head.

'This is forced, real or not real?' He asked with a light bit of humour. I smiled at the grim remembrance of the memory game. I shook my head and looked up at him.

'Not real.' I responded and studied his face. How his lips curved in a small yet dazzling smile, the way his eyes searched mine to try to tell if I was hiding something from him, the angle is hair fell perfectly in place above his beautiful eyes.

'Why didn't you want me in the kitchen?' The blue depths of his eyes became unsettled with curiosity. I smiled and shook my head lightly.

'I didn't want to be in here with Haymitch, I thought it would spoil the mood.'

'There wasn't a mood to begin with.' He informed me with a smirk.

'Though he's like buzz kill when it comes to moments like this.' I nodded and tilted my head slightly, not finding this entirely fair. I'm sure Haymitch didn't try to be buzz kill.

'But we need him don't we? To make sure us kids don't get too carried away.' By saying this, I lightly implied that I disagreed to what he said. He frowned a little then let his arms drop until he was holding one of my hands and led me up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

'Have you been working on the book like you said you would?' He asked as we climbed the stairs. I brightened somewhat and nodded.

'Of course, I told I would didn't I? I've finished another two pages.' I said proudly. Beside me Peeta smiled and walked me down the hall to the large room. Realization hit me and I pulled him back away from the door. He looked at me with a quizzical expression.

'It's messy.' I said guiltily. Peeta laughed and shook his head.

'Katniss what's gotten into you? I don't care if its messy, we've been through much more than a messy room. It doesn't bother me in the least.' He was right; this was silly for me to get all worked up over an unclean room. So I didn't resist when he led me into the room. I left his side to retrieve the leather bound book, which contained all my family's knowledge on edible and medicinal plants. Carefully stepping over the pile of towels and other collections I had strewed across the floor, I returned to Peeta and sat on the end of the bed with him holding the book in my hands.

'I finished the Nightlock and Belladonna.' I informed him and skimmed through the pages quickly, trying to find the pages. True both these plants were deadly and clearly weren't edible, but I figured they might as well be in the book.

'Now all that's left is for you to colour them.' I flipped to the Nightlock page and looked at my small, scratchy writing. Peeta leaned closer to me and looked at the small writing with a grim smile.

'Nightlock huh?' The simple statement had great emotion behind it, which sent a shiver down my spine. I looked up at him to see his blue eyes clouded, and fixed on me. All at once they cleared, with a sort of intensity.

'I would have done it you know.' He said in a solemn voice. I closed my eyes as the images of me and Peeta holding the Nightlock to our mouths came flooding into my mind. Peeta didn't ask questions when I handed him the berry, he didn't resist; he trusted my solution to get out of the hunger games.

'I know you would have Peeta.' I said quietly. We sat in silence for a few moments; I kept my eyes closed as the images flashed before me. The berries, contestants, the murder, the pain and fear. It was all so unbearable. How did we manage to survive? It couldn't have been without luck, but how could we have been that lucky. Or are we lucky? Why wasn't it Cato or Clove, why wasn't it Finnick or Wiress? Why us. Why district 12. I wouldn't wish this upon anyone, not my mortal enemy or a complete stranger. No one should have to go through this, but why was it us? Were we really meant to survive?

When I opened my eyes Peeta's face was mere inches from mine, his eyes fixed on my face intently, and pity showing in their depths.

'You know it doesn't do any good to think about the past Katniss. No matter how much you regret, it won't change anything.' He said gently. My hands held themselves, to stop the shaking that had started.

'I know.' It shocked me, to hear how broken my voice was. I looked down at my lap silently. If all this hadn't happened, if it hadn't been Peeta and Prim who were chosen for the games, where would we be now? I'd probably be hunting with Gale, or would he have died in the mines? Peeta would be long gone, along with Prim. My mother would have left me too; she would be locked up in her mind, fighting with herself. I would be completely alone, surviving in the seam. Of course I'd have the hob, but what good would that do my sanity. Maybe, in a way the games were a good thing, I may miss everyone I've lost, and all that has happened haunts me in both my waking and sleeping moments. I have Peeta though, and I wouldn't want anyone else.

'Peeta, I'm glad you're the one here with me.' I said quietly. Peeta wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me closer to him, warmth radiated from his body.

'I'll always be with you Katniss.' He promised, and then kissed my forehead.

'You know I'll never leave you.' His words made a feeling stir inside me, a feeling I hadn't felt since the beach in the Quarter Quells. Butterflies flew inside me, making me unsettled, but giddy as a school girl. I pushed the book off my lap and lifted my legs up off the ground, and laid them across his lap. He looked at me in surprise.

'Peeta I know you'd never leave me. I know you will always be with me. I think, it's time I made that same commitment to you.'

My words caught Peeta of guard, for once in his life the smooth actor was without a script, and had nothing to improvise with. He opened his mouth like a gaping fish, trying to draw the words out, but he never got the chance. I had pulled myself into his lap, my arms wrapped around his neck as I pulled closer to him. Yet again my actions caught him off guard and I felt a pang of superiority. Since he was still in his state of shock, I was the one who had to press my lips against his.

Like the kiss on the beach, I felt a fiery passion run through me. No other could make me feel like this, not even Gale. Wanted, loved, important, Peeta is everything to me now. He is the only one I can feel like this towards now. For all I know Gale helped kill my sister, and is running around with some other girl from district 2. He never came back, he never said goodbye. How he could do something like that, I wonder. If he declared he cared about me, that he would follow me, then leave me without reason. What about his family? Had they gone to District 2 with him, or did he leave them here to shrivel away and die. Sometimes I question if he has a heart at all. Peeta has a heart, and it belongs to me, as mine now belongs to him.

Once Peeta recovered from his daze he was the first one to pull back from the kiss. He still looked a little flustered, but had regained his posture. His eyes were fixed on me, deep in thought as I starred up at him. The lightest hue of pink was detectable on his cheeks, was he blushing?

'Would you like a cheese bun?' Now I was the one caught off guard. I blinked at him in surprise and tilted my head to the side.

'Not at the moment, it's not really the time to eat a cheese bun.'

'But I made them just for you, it's good to see that you appreciate my hard work.' He scooted me off his lap and back onto the end of the bed, then stood. His hand was lost in his blond curls. I've only ever seen him do this in class when he's doing hard equations.

'I'll get you a cheese bun.' He decided, and left the room, leaving me gawking after him in confusion. Something hit me, like a cloud decided to fall on top of my mood and smother it in its fog. Did Peeta just…reject me? The thought made my eyes sting, I've never been one to cry, especially over boys. But this wasn't some school crush, this was Peeta. He's not just _some_ boy. He's _my _boy. Aren't we still engaged? I looked across the room to the dresser where a silver ring-an elegant thing it was- shimmered in the light. Was Peeta wearing his ring? I couldn't recall. Does this mean…he doesn't love me anymore?

Stop it Katniss. Your being silly. Peeta loves you with every fibre in his being, if he didn't he wouldn't have risked his life for you. Maybe he was just uncomfortable, maybe you surprised him. Peeta being surprised by my actions? That's a laugh. He could really just be hungry.

I stood silently, and wandered over to the door. Surely I couldn't have made Peeta uncomfortable. He's a boy, I thought they liked it when girls put their legs on them. Oh well. I stalked silently down the hall and down the first few steps on the stair case when I heard voices. I crouched down and clung to the railing. From here I got a good view of the living room, and I could see Peeta running his hands through his hair in frustration.

'Haymitch is Katniss still on her meds?' He asked in a short tone. A drunken laugh came from Haymitch, who; apart from his feet was out of view.

'Katniss hasn't taken any medications for at least six months!' He boomed, then coughed. Peeta frowned and glared at Haymitch.

'Well did you give her something? She's acting…odd.' He put together carefully. I frowned and gripped the banister. Did I actually scare Peeta?

'No, no, she's sober.' Haymitch assured and a deep sigh came from the drunk. More of his body came into view when he leaned forward to look at Peeta, his arms resting on his knees. Peeta opened his mouth to say something, but Haymitch raised a finger to make him stay silent.

'Katniss is not on anything Peeta. Did the thought ever cross your mind that she might actually _love_ you? That it isn't all for show?' Peeta stared at him in shock.

'The last time she showed me this much affection she was planning on killing herself, and the time before that she drugged me.'

'Both actions were to save you.' Haymitch answered shortly.

'Are you sure she doesn't want something?' He asked doubtfully. Haymitch growled and leaned back on the couch, now out of view.

'Why don't you ask her yourself? She's probably creeping around somewhere listening to us.' I froze to the railing, unable to move. How had he known that? Mice are more audible them me. A fit of laughter left him, like this was the funniest thing in the world. Peeta's shoulders went rigid and he turned around, luckily his eyes weren't wandering the banister, he was intent on the kitchen. Whether he was going to search the cupboards to see if I was hiding in them, I'm not sure, I didn't linger long enough to find out. I ran up the few steps and down the hall, not making so much as a creak. That's the good thing about these victor homes, they're new and sturdy, and they don't creak.

Once I was back in the room, I sat on the edge of the bed, farthest from the door. I brought my knees up to my chest and hugged them to me, staring at the carpet in confusion. Peeta thought I was still acting? That or he thought I was hyped up on some drug. I really do, love him. Does he want me to say so, or is this too much for him. I don't want to scare away the boy with the bread, he's the only one I have left.

A heavy tread was coming from the staircase, it was Peeta. Even Haymitch isn't as loud as him, well at least when he's not drunk. My heart rate began to quicken, what am I supposed to say? I should pretend that I wasn't ease dropping. Yes, play dumb. You can do that. As soon as I came to this conclusion, Peeta was at the door way and striding towards the bed with a cheese bun in his hand. He sat next to me and wrapped one arm around my waist, then offered the cheese bun with the other.

'Thank you.' I took the cheese bun and ripped off a small piece of the bun. Peeta looked at me in thought, but didn't say anything. I could feel myself blushing and I pulled of a piece of the cheese bun and held it out to him.

'No I'm good.' He gave a small smile. I pouted and shook my head.

'You have to eat something.' I said and held the piece of the cheese bun closer to him. He shook his head.

'Oh come on.' I rolled my eyes and pulled closer to him, pushing the cheese bun to his lips.

'Eat it.' His eyes glazed over, like he was looking at something far away. I frowned and continued to push the cheese bun against his lips.

'If you're not eating I'm going to assume that you're starving yourself. Then I'll tell Haymitch and have him force feed you.' I said in a firm tone. His eyes stayed glazed, but he opened his mouth just enough for me to put piece of bun into his mouth. I smiled and took off another piece for myself. After he chewed and swallowed his food, his eyes returned to their blue intensity and fixed on me.

'Katniss.' He said in an unusual tone. I've never heard this tone before. My eyes flitted up to look at him.

'Yes Peeta?' He swallowed hard and looked uncertain.

'Katniss, do you love me?' The question didn't surprise me much, but I never thought I'd hear him ask it. I stared at him for a moment, not sure how to respond. Of course I love Peeta!

'I thought you already asked me this, three years ago.' I bit my lip as my eyebrows knitted themselves together.

'Why do you doubt that I love you Peeta?' A pained expression plastered itself to his face.

'What about Gale I-' I cut him off by pushing another piece of cheese bun into his mouth.

'Gale left me, Peeta. He left me in district 12. He didn't say goodbye, he just left. For all I know, he killed my sister. I promise, what I feel towards you could never be compared to what I once felt for Gale. You out rank him.'

'We're graded in ranks?' I opened my mouth in shock and looked at him in disbelief. The slightest hint of a smile was at the corners of his lips.

'You know what I mean Mellark!' I pouted and popped the last of the cheese bun into his mouth, then crossed my arms in a huff and pulled his arm from my waist, making a big show of it all. Peeta swallowed his cheese bun in a hurry and laughed, pulling me back into his arms.

'I know what you mean Everdeen.' He promised before kissing me gently on the lips. It's amazing how he can make cheese buns taste better than they already were. I could feel my lips curving in a smile and I leaned against his chest.

'Are you content with my answer?' I asked quietly as I played with the end of one of his shirt sleeves. Peeta tilted his head to the side with a smirk on his face and ran his tongue along his bottom canines.

'Perhaps.' I frowned and continued to play with the sleeve.

'Perhaps?'

'Indeed, perhaps i'm content, or maybe I'm not completely satisfied with your answer.' He said in a teasing tone, then fell back on the bed, in doing so he pulled me on top of him. I gave a small yelp of surprise and put my hands on his chest to catch myself from butting heads with him. He laughed lightly and I frowned.

'You're still beautiful when you frown.' He said, brushing a stray strand of hair from my eyes.

'Although you look gorgeous when you don't.' When his lips made contact with my nose and brushed gently against it, I felt my face grow hot. I bit my lip and pulled my head back, and propped myself up on my elbows.

'What do you mean you're not completely satisfied with my answer?' He gave an attempt at a shrug and winced.

'I'd be glad to tell you but your elbows are digging into my chest.' Fake pain registered on his face and he winced again. I raised a brow and pushed my elbow into his chest. He narrowed his eyes and glared at me.

'No you can still tell me.' I said with a smirk and rubbed the ball of my elbow across a muscle on his upper chest. He winced again and shrunk back against the sheets.

'Jeez Katniss! There are other was to persuade a boy.' I dug my elbow into his chest and frowned.

'Tell me.'

'Katniss!' He yelped and grabbed my arm. Before I knew it, I was on my back starring up at Peeta as he held me down. He had grabbed my arm and flipped me. I gawked at him, winded for a moment before pushing up against him.

'Peeta your squishing me!' I protested and pushed at his chest. He chuckled, but in a sort of deep throaty way I'd never heard before. I studied his face for a brief moment, I've never seen that expression. With determination, I continued to push against him trying to get enough space between us for my lungs to expand.

'It's not so fun is it?' He asked in a tone, I too hadn't heard him use before. With ease he propped himself over top of me with one hand. My lungs expanded greedily. Well, I _could_ breathe when he was on top of me, it was just easier this way.

'Not much fun at all.' I admitted in a breathy voice as I tried to control my breathing. His body was still very close to me, and I pursed my lips in thought. I hope my actions didn't give him any new confidence.

'So do I get to know why my answer doesn't suffice?' I asked again. He shook his head and smiled, his beautiful breath taking smile. He leaned closer to me until out lips were almost brushing against each other.

'Persuade me.' He whispered. I could feel myself flush, if it wasn't for the dwindling light Peeta would have laughed at the colour my face probably was. Before he got a chance to look at my cheeks properly, I closed the distance between our lips and hugged myself to him. He kissed me back, passionately and lovingly.

Sometime during our passionate session, Peeta rolled onto his back so I was on top of him again. I don't really remember when, or how. All I knew was that he was mine, and I was his. This is the first thing I have been so sure of for a very long time. Peeta was kissing down my collar neck to my collar bone, when I let out that fateful giggle. At first both Peeta and I disregarded it, we weren't being all that careful. He gave me a smile, then continued kissing me. Shortly after I thought I heard a creek, but not one, several. As if someone was running. This pulled me from the intoxicating session and I gripped Peeta's arm. He gave me a look of confusion, without saying a word I tapped my ear to tell him to listen. We laid there, listening to the creaking as it grew louder and louder. Underneath me I felt Peeta go rigid and I looked down at him.

'It's Haymitch.' The thought made my heart skip a few beats. Haymitch? Argh that's right! He's our legal guardian or something, even though we can both be considered adults. Really though, what can he do? He'd probably at the least half drunk. I gave an uncaring shrug then kissed up his neck.

'What can a drunk do anyways?' I asked gently. Peeta seemed to silently agree with me and we dove right back into our intoxicating, dreamy, passionate session. The creaks stopped and I smiled triumphantly to myself. Haymitch is probably looking for another bottle of liquor, or maybe he's about to puke.

Peeta sat up on the bed, making me fall back into his lap. His beautiful curls were in a craze, his hair sticking up in random patches. I laughed lightly and wrapped my legs around his waist, setting my hands on his chest.

'Your hair looks funny.' I said childishly. Peeta smirked and ruffled my hair.

'I'm not the only one.' My hands shot up to my hair and I smoothed it out. I gave a pout.

'I worked so hard on it.'

'Well what did you think would happen?' He asked in a teasing tone. I shrugged and returned my hands to Peeta's chest. Suddenly he looked quite uncomfortable.

'So ah, are we going to work on that book?' I wasn't expecting this question. I personally, was quite content with what we were already doing.

'Tomorrow.' I answered easily. Peeta frowned and his eyes darted away from me. My head cocked to the side with slight annoyance, and question.

'What's wrong Peeta?' I asked, hiding my annoyance with the boy. Why is he never pleased when I am? Peeta gave a light shrug and glanced at me.

'This is just, a lot of attention from you.' To this day, this boy never ceases to amaze me.

'Is that a bad thing?' I asked a little uneasy. Keeping my temper was not something I was good at. Especially when I've worked hard for something and I'm denied it. Peeta shook his head and sighed.

'It's just…I don't want things to get out of control.' He said quietly. I rolled my eyes.

'Peeta we aren't children anymore, in fact we might be considered adults!' Which was very true, depending on who you're dealing with. Peeta opened his mouth to protest and I put a finger to his lips.

'Shh. Peeta, we're engaged. Heck we've been engaged for years now!' I let my finger fall from his lips, his expression hadn't changed, and I felt utterly defeated. Fine. I won't force anything upon Peeta. Finally, my gaze dropped from Peeta and I became transfixed in a loose hem on my dress. The pang of rejection is unbearable.

Maybe Peeta had to process my words before he got the meaning of them, because after a few moments of silence it was like someone turned a switch on in his mind. Soon enough I was on my back with Peeta above me, my hands lost in his curls. We were laughing, whether it was our way of showing how nervous we were or maybe we both looked ridiculous. I hugged Peeta to me, never wanting to let go of him. We were still fully clothed when the door opened and the lights turned on.

I let out a whine of protest and hid my face in Peeta's shirt, not having to guess who was at the door.

'Haymitch go away!' I whined with annoyance. I glanced up at Peeta, he sighed then turned his head to the door frowning. All at once, his body went rigid and he was off of me. He stood at the side of the bed, straightening his shirt and scratching the back of his head. He looked like a child who had been caught with his hand in a cookie jar. Haymitch laughed as if he'd never seen something this hilarious before. Annoyance got the better of me and I sat up, glaring at the door. My mouth was opened and I was thinking of some truly wicked things to say to Haymitch. What I saw at the door couldn't process in my brain. It didn't make sense. I didn't think it was possible. There, standing next to Haymitch. Peeta's nervous words confirmed what I saw, it wasn't an illusion.

'Good evening Mrs. Everdeen.'


	3. Chapter 3

'Mother?'

My voice came our accusingly, like saying the word was the equivalent of killing someone in the open market. At once I sat straighter, then stood straighter still once I got off the bed. This woman, why was she here? This made no sense; she should be building a hospital in district 4, or at least working in it. She told me with a letter and a phone call that she couldn't come back, she couldn't face this place. It would remind her too much of Prim. It didn't matter that she deserted her eldest daughter again.

The woman looked well, much healthier and even younger than she did back in district 13. The black circles that had lain dormant under her bright eyes were gone, if not covered up with some makeup. Signs of stress were undetectable, all except the way her brows raised and her lips turned in a disapproving frown. Why was she frowning? No one invited her here.

'Good evening Peeta.' She said in a curt voice. It caught me off guard. Was she annoyed with Peeta? Her gaze turned to me and she crossed her arms. Beside her Haymitch had stopped his chuckling and was looking a little uncomfortable.

'Katniss just what do you think you're doing?' Her tone was demanding.

'What do you think you're doing?" I snapped back, my voice full of reproach. Anger riled inside of me, churning and boiling. Who did she think she was? Coming here unannounced, and barging in on me and Peeta.

'Excuse me young lady.' An elegant brow rose pointedly at me.

'I am your mother that is no way to talk me.' I snorted in disgust. Hardly! I wanted to shout.

'Some mother. Leaving me for a District eight from 12? Without much warning, and no contact for two years?' It was true, that. The last time I had had contact with my mother was on my birthday two years ago. It was just a short phone call made on a switch between shifts at the hospital. Then nothing. No letters, no phone calls, nothing. Whatever feelings that stirred towards my mother after the 74th hunger games had vanished. With no trace, and no chance of returning.

'What a lovely role model you turned out to be.' I spat. My mother tensed, and she shook her head.

'It's savage of you to be having this conversation in front of company.' She stated plainly. My mouth dropped in shock. Savage? _Company_? Company, really. Peeta and Haymitch are basically family! I would much rather call them family then her likes. My entire body went through a series of unseen spasms. She was acting like some Capitol brat. Did District 4 do this to her? Surely not, Finnick and Annie didn't act like this. I glanced at Haymitch who had raised a brow to her comment, but didn't speak. My ears could pick up Peeta shifting from foot to foot behind me, clearly uneasy.

'Now that you've got that out of your system, just _what_ were you doing with that boy?' She demanded. I blinked at her dully.

'What do you mean?' My question caused a small, and not very lady like snort to come from my mother.

'Katniss honestly! It's not right for any girl your age to be in bed with a boy, dressed like that none the less!' Her hands flicked out towards the silk dress I wore, her nose twitching in distaste. At least that was familiar. She had twitched her nose that way whenever I brought home a meagre kill. I frowned.

'I'm nineteen.' I said proudly. This didn't faze my mother, so I continued quickly.

'Peeta is my fiancé mother. I'm allowed to do whatever I want with him.' A look of disbelief crossed her face and she turned to Haymitch.

'You're supposed to be watching them!' Her tone was dangerous; I closed my eyes for a brief moment. I could imagine a cougar stalking towards a disoriented and trapped rabbit. This is what comes to mind when I look at Haymitch and my mother.

'Well you see,' Haymitch began, dropping his gaze like bricks. He was shifting uncomfortably where he stood. His face was pale, whether it was from the alcohol or not, I couldn't tell.

'Mrs. Everdeen, please.' Peeta's voice took me by surprise. I looked back at him and could see he had regained his smooth exterior, looking coolly if not cheekily at my mother with an even gaze.

'I sent Katniss to her room and told Haymitch I was going home. I left him with a fine bottle of liquor, then snuck back in through the window.' He tilted his head towards the window, which was shut. I bit my lip and tried not to laugh at his pitiful excuse. My mother rolled her eyes and Peeta gave her a winning smile.

'It's amazing what young men can do, isn't it Mrs. Everdeen? Who would have thought a town boy such as myself would have been able to scale the side of a victors home, it isn't like I learned anything from the hunger games.'

This caught my mother off guard, but she quickly waved her hand dismissively.

'Whether you are or aren't my daughters fiancé does not mater.' Once more her eyes flicked back to Haymitch.

'Haymitch, escort Mr. Mellark to his house please.' I thought Haymitch would attack my mother, her ordering him like that. Whether it was because he was to drunk, or actually feared my mother, he gave a long loathing sigh. He rolled his shoulders and nodded to my mother.

'Peeta.' He looked at Peeta expectantly, and Peeta sighed.

'Very well.' Peeta walked forward, but stopped at my side. He wrapped his arms around my waist and spun me towards him. I caught my breath as he kissed me front on, in front of my mother. There was a dull grinding noise when he did so. When he let go of me I could see my mother had clenched her jaw, and was most likely grinding her teeth. Peeta smiled at me and gave me one last hug before whispering;

'Good night Mrs. Mellark.' In a teasing, yet dreamy voice. He walked confidently towards Haymitch and stopped short, in front of my mother.

'And goodnight to you as well, Mrs. Everdeen.' My mother's eyes were lit with rage and he strode out of the room, not missing a beat. Haymitch stumbled out after him and shut the door. Neither of us moved, or said a word until we could hear the faint clicking of the front door shut. All at once my mother was upon me. Using a voice full of real concern, yet lecturing me and scolding me. She was a mix of emotions; the only thing I could do was hug her when she opened her arms to me. After she let go of me I backed away from her a few paces and sighed.

'Why are you here?' I asked in a small voice. My mother looked at me with a hollow expression, and tried to resume her cool exterior.

'I am your mother; I shouldn't leave you alone like this.'

'That hasn't stopped you from doing _this _before.' I replied easily. Her eyes hardened.

'I was sick, Katniss.'

'You were selfish.' I snapped back. When I looked at her I could feel rage seeping from every pore in my body.

'You still are. You're my mother; you're supposed to provide for me. You were supposed to protect me. You were supposed to raise me. As a mother you should have kept your emotions in check, for the sake of your children.' All I said was true, and I could see each word I spoke was like filed steel piercing her. I wanted to make her suffer, and suffer she will.

'I thought you had changed, after I started hunting. I thought you would get better, even when we moved into this house I thought you'd be better. That you could be a mother to me.' My eyes were stinging, at first I thought I was just tired, but the moistness on my cheeks told me I was crying.

'But no. You couldn't be a mother to me _or_ Prim.' That one struck home, my mother began to look more fragile as I went on.

'You let Prim die.'

A totally inappropriate image flashed in the back of my mind. I thought, if I was to be an animal, I would be a snake. Like President Snow. I would torcher my victims with my venom, and make them suffer before I killed them.

'I did not _let _my daughter die.' She said in a low growl.

'Where were you when she joined the medical team?' I screamed at her. I didn't care who heard me. There are only two people, that I'm certain had something to do with Prim's death. President Snow, and my mother.

'I didn't know!'

'You should have! You should have been with her! Taking care of her instead of some strangers in the hospital!' Both of us had our voices raised, we started screeching and saying terrible things, we compared emotional intelligence to that of a dogs, blamed each other for our loved ones death and went on about how it would have been better if one of us had taken their places. We both were crying, and we soon ran out of steam. Even if I felt no love towards her, I did feel a pang of guilt for blaming her for Prims death, even if it was true. How could any mother live with the fact that she let her daughter die?

I sat back on my bed and stared at the floor. The pain burning, searing through my chest and the rest of my body was the same pain I felt when I watched Prim burst into a human torch. This was all wrong, Prim shouldn't be dead. My dear, sweet, gentle Prim. Could I have saved her…? Maybe if I had spotted her earlier on, maybe then I could have saved her. If I had seen her I could have stopped her. I would have stopped her. If, Maybe, Could have, would have. These are all things I _might_ have been able to do _if_ I had known, but I didn't know. I pushed away the thoughts of everything I could have done, to keep it from eating my reserve alive.

'Katniss.' My mother's voice was strong once more, if not icy. I looked over at her with red, puffy eyes from crying.

'You're grounded.'

_Grounded_? I blinked at her blankly. That sounded very familiar. Wasn't that something merchants did to their children? I swear I heard a girl at school complain about how she got grounded, and Finnick may have mentioned it once or twice, but what did it mean? Ground-ed. Grounded. I rolled the word over my tongue. After a few moments I gave up and shrugged my shoulders.

'I don't know what that means.' I said in a monotone. My mother let out a huff and swept a stray piece of hair out of her vision and tucked it behind her ear.

'You are grounded. Meaning, you have no privileges from this moment farther. No phone, no walking to the market, no hunting, no Peeta.' At once I jumped to my feet with my fists clenched.

'Where did you come up with that rubbish?' I demanded. No privileges? The arrogance of this woman!

'It's something mothers do to their children in district 4, when they behave improperly.'

'I don't care what they do in district 4! This is district 12! I won't have any of your nonsense in my house.' I said assertively. Grounded? There was I time I hadn't had any privileges at all besides breathing, does that mean I was grounded then? Of all the confounded and stupid things to think of! Honestly, this cheek coming from a woman her age. She dare say this to me, especially after she just reopened all my old emotional wounds and poured salt in them?

'_Your _house?' She asked in a defensive tone. I gave a curt nod.

'_My_ house, yes.' The woman's mouth opened immediately to say something most likely demeaning, but I beat her to it.

'I am 19, I am an adult. I was the victor of the 74th hunger games with Peeta Mellark, you are not Peeta Mellark nor I, so you have no reason to assume this house is still yours.' My tongue was heavily laced with venom, perhaps that was wrong of me to say. Then again, it was wrong for her to say all the things she had.

'However, seeing as you just got here I'll _allow_ you to stay a short while.' I said with narrowed eyes. That definitely was putting a little too much icing on the cake.

'Katniss, you seem to be forgetting something.' She said in a tired voice. I blinked at her in surprise.

'I'm still your mother no matter how much you hate me, and as your legal guardian you have to listen to me.' I snorted with distaste. Haymitch is my legal guardian as well, but you don't see him making a big fuss about it.

'However I can see that my presence has upset you, I knew coming here would be taboo.' Pain registered on her face, making her entire body look more fragile than it really was. This didn't faze me though, after all the pain and suffering she had caused me this actually gave me a small sense of accomplishment.

'I'll be gone by the end of the week then.' She said quietly, before turning towards the door. Unexpectedly, she stopped at the door. I found myself tensing.

'Oh, and Katniss.' She turned back to face me.

'Don't wear my dresses.' With that, she turned and strode out of the room.

The next two days went by, slowly, in a sort of agonising way. I didn't talk to my mother. No one talked to my mother. She just went about the house, or stayed locked up in her room. What was the point of her being here? Just to scare away my company probably. Not Haymitch nor Peeta had come by since my mother's appearance, I didn't think I could miss someone this much only after two days. I even longed for _Haymitch's _company. Anyone, even greasy Sae and her granddaughter! Still, no one came. I longed to see Peeta so, I was thinking about walking over to his house. Not so we could pick up where we left off or anything trampy like that, but just so I could talk to someone. I had also run out of cheese buns.

I don't know why I hadn't left the house sooner, I mean, it wasn't like anything was stopping me. Surely my mother was making a jest when she said I was _grounded. _The foolishness that woman comes up with. I skirted along the railing of the stair case, and looked down the stairs and into the landing. It felt like I had to be sneaky, like this was of the most upmost importance. With silent, almost graceful steps I ran down the stairs. All I needed was my coat, cap and boots. Then I could be off the bakery where Peeta would welcome my company. My coat was cold from its unused, and I shivered as its soft fabric slid onto my bare arms.

'Going somewhere, Katniss?' My mother's voice chimed, I froze and turned to face her. I felt like a bad child caught doing something wrong. I really wasn't though, I was simply going to see my fiancé…well that wasn't contradicting.

'As a matter of fact I am, I'm going into town.' I answered evenly. My mother raised a brow.

'Oh are you?'

'I just said I was ma'am.' I used a sarcastic tone and took my cap off its hanger. A heard my mother's feet tap the floor as she walked, and I spun around quickly. She now stood in front of the door with her arms crossed, looking very clinical. My eyes drifted down to her feet and my heart stopped.

'You're grounded young lady.'

I did not respond.

'Katniss did you hear me?' She asked in a sharp tone. I glanced up at her with my mouth gaping open.

'You're wearing high heels.' I commented, I couldn't believe my own words. My mother shifted uncomfortably and nodded.

'Yes I am, that doesn't matter-'

'Why?' I cut her off and moved towards her, studying her hair and face intently. She was wearing makeup, and I'd recognize that accursed full body polish anywhere. When did this happen? Her hair was down, not in a bun. She was wearing high heels, and I could detect the slightest scent of perfume. I raised a brow in shock and crossed my arms, standing in front of her. Now she was the one caught red handed.

'Why?' I repeated the question with accusation. She straightened her blouse and looked me in the eyes.

'I am the mother Katniss, you cannot question me like this.'

'Don't bother with that speech again.' I snapped and swallowed hard. Surely, _surely_ this woman hadn't started to see other men? No. She couldn't possibly have started _dating_. Even she wouldn't do something like that.

'Why are you dressed like this.' I asked calmly, holding back my suspicions and accusations with a burning tongue. My mother's eyes turned dead and she sighed.

'I'm going to the new peace keeper building.' She answered. Relief surged through me.

'Oh.' Was my response, I didn't want her to know I had suspected her of foul play.

'I'm meeting Mr. Shroud. ' She continued. My heart skipped a beat.

'I trust you've heard of him.

Mr. Shroud. Yes, as a matter of fact I have heard of him. Actually, I've met him. He's the new mayor of District 12. He's not young, but not exactly old. Probably late thirties, early forties. My mother's age, more or less. However, he's not bad for looks. He has that seam look to him. Only with black, curly locks upon his head, with a pair of blue eyes I couldn't help but compare to President Snow's. His voice is deep; words smooth. A medium build, standing five, maybe six inches taller than myself. A beauty mark above the left side of his mouth, no wrinkles or signs of age. His arms are badly scarred, he was part of the rebellion. Yes, dear naïve mother. I know all about him.

This may sound bizarre, how I have all his features down to a point. But trust in me, I wasn't taking a peck at him. More like a punch. I've got into many arguments with him, not recently but when I first returned to the District. He came by to introduce himself, I was however - courtesy of Haymitch, drunk. I started spewing nonsense about how he'll never be half the mayor Madge's father was, how he looks like a ninny in that black suit of his. My out bursts didn't faze him, but my punches did. After my initial, verbal attack on him his shoulders sagged and he looked bored. I was screeching and it enraged me when he looked away from me, so I hit him. Not once, perhaps thrice? Once in the face, the chest, and oh yes. The bread basket.

'Why are you meeting Mr. Shroud?' I demanded, rage once more flooding through my veins. My mother looked taken aback.

'He asked me to join him for a cup of coffee.'

'Coffee?' I boomed. My fists were clenched to stop me from striking the woman. Coffee. She's going out for a cup of joe with the likes of him! The thought! The cheek of it all! My enemy, of course my mother would fancy him. She complicates everything. That is a luxury, actually _going_ somewhere for a cup of coffee. Well, at least it was when we lived in the seam. It had been no more than a fantasy back then. The way she had said it, it reminded me of the way Flavius and Octavia went chirping around with their talk of new perfumes, how everything they have is _in style_. Spoiled, and blind to the real world.

'You can't.' I said quickly.

'Why can't I?'

'Because of dad!' I said a little more forcefully then necessary, I could see her shy back from me and flinch at the mention of my father.

'How would he feel if you were strutting in town with some new suit?'

'He isn't a suit Katniss.'

I snorted.

'There isn't much of a difference! Looks expensive, but is cheap and falls apart easily!'

'Katniss you have no idea of what you're talking about.'

'I know exactly what I'm talking about!' I yelled. I was angry now, not frustrated, or confused, or caught off guard, but purely enraged.

'You're betraying dad!'

'Katniss.' My mother said sharply, I could see the old her stirring inside of her. She had that look of certainty in her eyes she had when she knew she was going to win a bargain at the wool stalls.

'Your father would have wanted me to be happy. He would want me to move on. He'd want what's best for us.'

'Your only thinking about what's best for you!' I felt my eyes stinging again. How could she talk to freely about a man she'd gone into depression for? How did none of this faze her?

'Your grown up now Katniss. You know that's not true.'

'No! No, no, no! I know it's true! All you've ever done is mope and cry about how sorry you feel for yourself, you've never helped me with anything important. Never!' I backed away from the door, swallowing hard trying to stop myself from crying. I would not cry on her behalf.

'Father wouldn't want you to hang out with Shroud's likes.'

'Your father is dead Katniss.'

Her words were cold as ice, and piercing as needles. I looked at her in shock as my body went numb. My blood was cooling, thickening. I imagined it slowly slopping through my veins until it came to a complete still. The wounds from the day my father died opened inside of me. Ten times worse than before, burning more, stinging more, and scorching me. I was once more the girl on fire, burning with pain and resentment. I turned away from the woman, speechless. That woman isn't my mother. She isn't my kin. She isn't related to me. I blinked blankly as I walked up the stair case, I wasn't aware when the door opened, and clicked shut behind that wretched human. I just sat on the end of my bed, staring at my reflection, trying to convince myself that I came from a warm, loving and caring woman and man. My eyes were fixed on my frame, the only thing relating me to that woman. I don't know how long I stared at myself, eventually the light in the room began to fade. I was only vaguely aware of the scent of liquor as it flooded into my room.


End file.
